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10 things single parents have to know about re-entering the dating scene and developing meaningful relationships rather than a string of short casual affairs
When you’re divorced with kids, entering the dating scene is not as easy as it used to be. Any single parent knows that it is difficult to find a loving partner who will accept the responsibility attached to dating someone with kids. To make matters worse, juggling friends, career, and family are already challenging in itself.
Adding dating into the equation will usually mean sacrificing one or more areas of your life. It is not surprising that a lot of single parents hesitate before reentering the dating scene. But while it is true that the balancing act may be difficult, it is also a fact that it is worth it. Nothing beats the feeling of having someone who will love and accept you and your family unconditionally. Before you reenter the dating scene, there are 10 essential facts you need to know in order to develop meaningful relationships instead of having a string of casual affairs:
- Get Rid of the Guilt – a lot of single parents instinctively feel guilty when they go out on a date. There is no reason to feel guilty about this because making just the right amount of time for yourself, your kids, and your date is critical. Your kids need to understand that finding the right companion is important to you and that you will not love them any less because of it.
- Stop dating a “Tolerant” Person – maybe you’re going out with someone who looks great, is fun to be with, and has a sense of humor. The problem? She is merely tolerant of your kids, as if they are a bad habit she has to deal with. If you find yourself in this situation, do yourself and your kids a favor, stop seeing the person. You may be having a wonderful time now but that will soon stop once you get involved in a serious relationship.
- Ask for Your Kids’ Stamp of Approval – a lot of children instinctively react negatively to any new person in your life. Even if your date is wonderful to them, it is sometimes unavoidable for jealousies to occur. Talk to your kids and take note of their reaction. If your child reacts poorly to your new relationship, find out why and watch out for their future behavior.
- Don’t Move too quickly – while there are certainly some exceptions, giving the relationship time to progress is generally a wise move. Remember that entering a relationship at this stage is no longer as simple as it once was. Know what you’re getting yourself into before moving forward with serious commitment.
- Resist the Urge to be Indulgent to your Kids – because the kids suffered pain from their parent’s divorce or separation, most single parents feel the need to indulge their children to make up for their mistakes. This is one of the biggest parenting mistakes you can make because your kids simply become spoiled. Having disrespectful and difficult kids might leave you with a cold silent phone.
- Never Show Off your Date to Your Ex – there is no other way to say this, parading your date to your ex is a major turn-off. Resist the urge to do it even if you have a very hot number for a date. It may be tempting to show off especially if your ex had hurt you and caused the breakup. But remember that your date will feel like she is being used and you might not have a chance at her again.
- Practice Romance – whatever life stage you’re in, the importance of adding a bit of romance to your dating life remains the same. Everyone wants to feel special and you certainly want your date to feel like the most beautiful person in the world.
- Be Sensitive to Everyone Involved – if you’re dating a single parent, dating can become even more tricky. It is now becomes essential not to look out for your kid’s feelings but her kid’s feelings as well.
- Present yourself well – it won’t do to lack confidence especially if you’re raising two or more kids. It just doesn’t speak well of you. Always project assurance and confidence when you’re out on a date. Don’t let little insecurities ruin your chance at happiness. Remember that women are attracted to strong and confident men, you want that to be you.
- Look Your Best – a single parent may think it’s difficult to feel sexy especially with all the responsibilities they need to take care of. But that no excuse to look slouchy! Take time to shave, comb your hair, and wear perfume. Physical appearance plays a very important factor in dating. Some might even go as far as to suggest, it can make or break it.
Reentering the dating scene is not something you need to be worried about. Know what you’re getting yourself into and follow the tips above. You’ll discover that a whole new world will literally open up for you.